We can only be as connected to others as we are to ourselves. I used to struggle with not fitting in, and over the last several years, I have realized we do not need to fit in anywhere. We need to have a sense of belonging within ourselves.
I dance on the outskirts of many communities in my city - public speaking, open mics, a conversation and connection series, community story nights, partner dance, a hiking group and a Brazilian percussion group (I am one of two non Brazilians in the group), and writing groups where we share and respond to our writing as well. What is so amazing - is all these incredible communities are free or very low cost (in instances where there is cost for rent of a space - and that is what the price covers).
I also split my time between working on co-creating an off-grid community in Mexico with the founding members of said group, who are primarily older, Mexican men. They spend much more time hunting and fishing and building things than they do on any of the things that interest me, but they have grown to respect how animals respond to me, they think it’s awesome that I’m working on building my own space there and they certainly love when I share my sourdough baked goods, pestos, ferments and other things I make with them.
One thing I learn is that community can be challenging when we want to give and take within it. Expectations weigh down connection and they put pressure on us to perform and mold ourselves to fit in. True community is built on being able to share and receive - in whatever form the sharing and receiving is offered.
Many businesses are now trying to jump on the community bandwagon, but real community is not something you buy your way into. In fact, many of the people who do, would benefit the most from the presence of those who cannot afford to pay for the privilege, who in turn would heal so much through being invited to sit at tables that we have made to be exclusionary.
This so resonates, James. I've noticed the same thing in my own community - that gathering together can be a type of catharsis. It can enhance creativity and, somehow paradoxically, make it feel more safe, less scary. Paradoxical because although when we're scared of expression we want to hide from others but when we connect and make ourselves visible, we are MORE of ourselves and that amplifies the whole group. I think sometimes the piece about the inner work we do in a group is missed in discussions about community. Good luck with Sunflower Club! I'm sure it'll be a magical space.
Join as soon as I possibly can adjust my budget ! Time to lose the streaming tv subscription and invest in myself and the community. Thank you for this space James
Join us in Sunflower Club! Hope to see you there 🌻🌻 https://www.sunflowerclub.co
We can only be as connected to others as we are to ourselves. I used to struggle with not fitting in, and over the last several years, I have realized we do not need to fit in anywhere. We need to have a sense of belonging within ourselves.
I dance on the outskirts of many communities in my city - public speaking, open mics, a conversation and connection series, community story nights, partner dance, a hiking group and a Brazilian percussion group (I am one of two non Brazilians in the group), and writing groups where we share and respond to our writing as well. What is so amazing - is all these incredible communities are free or very low cost (in instances where there is cost for rent of a space - and that is what the price covers).
I also split my time between working on co-creating an off-grid community in Mexico with the founding members of said group, who are primarily older, Mexican men. They spend much more time hunting and fishing and building things than they do on any of the things that interest me, but they have grown to respect how animals respond to me, they think it’s awesome that I’m working on building my own space there and they certainly love when I share my sourdough baked goods, pestos, ferments and other things I make with them.
One thing I learn is that community can be challenging when we want to give and take within it. Expectations weigh down connection and they put pressure on us to perform and mold ourselves to fit in. True community is built on being able to share and receive - in whatever form the sharing and receiving is offered.
Many businesses are now trying to jump on the community bandwagon, but real community is not something you buy your way into. In fact, many of the people who do, would benefit the most from the presence of those who cannot afford to pay for the privilege, who in turn would heal so much through being invited to sit at tables that we have made to be exclusionary.
Thank you for the thoughtful comment. I totally agree! ❤️
This so resonates, James. I've noticed the same thing in my own community - that gathering together can be a type of catharsis. It can enhance creativity and, somehow paradoxically, make it feel more safe, less scary. Paradoxical because although when we're scared of expression we want to hide from others but when we connect and make ourselves visible, we are MORE of ourselves and that amplifies the whole group. I think sometimes the piece about the inner work we do in a group is missed in discussions about community. Good luck with Sunflower Club! I'm sure it'll be a magical space.
Love this ! I wil
Join as soon as I possibly can adjust my budget ! Time to lose the streaming tv subscription and invest in myself and the community. Thank you for this space James
We’ll save you a seat!